Thoughts Of The Past
by LostLioness
Summary: Fears of the Future. When everything starts to go wrong, how does one cope? Also, when lies come undone, the truth can be ugly.  Rated T for just in case.
1. Ashes and Pain

_ Life is full of tough choices, and once again; my hesitance kept me from making the right one._

Those words circled around Adhra, paralyzing her, as she gazed upon the vast, barren lands she once called home. Everything was ashy and dull, tears rimmed her eyes at the horrid sight.

Wishing she could amend her choice and start over, she sighed, bowing her head in shame._ A rogue. I'm a rogue...Look at me, filthy and lost, whimpering like a cub; I should be ashamed. _Her harsh words deepened into thoughts of her past, reliving memories she was longing to forget.

Vivid pictures painted in her mind and her heart raced, blocking out the sights and sounds of the ash covered plains.

Adhra shuttered, remembering the dark, twisted soul that destroyed her and her family, "hatred is strong, envy is stronger...When you thirst for something long enough," she paused, staring at her paws: they were muddy. Her brown-tawny pelt slightly wet with blood. "You lose control, and risk everything to get it..."

Adhra glanced at the dead land once more, but quickly shut her eyes. Unable to see the painful sight.

Slowly and stiffly she turned her back to the lands and darted in the other direction, she ran far and fast, not allowing herself to stop.

Adhra didn't know where she was going and she didn't care. Ignoring her aching muscles, she gained more speed.

_**In the Pridelands**_

Kiara gazed at her reflection in the watering hole, "Kovu," She muttered to her mate.

The dark-furred lion lifted his sorrow head and turned to her.

"I'm sorry-"

"you're sorry? For what? Having a miscarriage? Kiara it's okay..."

"I know, I know, everyone is saying it's not my fault. But Kovu, I really feel as if it is. I shouldn't of..." Her voice quickly changed from words to tears.

Kovu's eyes burned as he tried his best to hold back tears himself, _crying is weak. I am strong. I need to be strong for Kiara. _Trying his best to comfort, he nuzzled Kiara, "It's not your fault."

Kiara chocked back her tears and nuzzled him back, unable to speak of the topic anymore.

**Author's Note: Please review, I would love feedback. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it so far...Sorries for such a short chapter, but the others will be longer. :)**


	2. Lost

**_Author's Note: Okay sorry if it was confusing, Adhra is my original character, she was looking at her old pride, before it was burnt down by a fire._**

**_Also thank you guys for reading, and please review! :)_**

****"I understand that this is a moment of grief for you Kiara, but honey, you have to eat." Nala's voice was soothing to Kiara's ears, but she still refused to look at the zebra leg her mother brought her.

"No mother. You don't understand," Kiara sobbed, "two cubs died because of me..."

Nala pushed the meat aside and laid next to her daughter, her eyes filled with sympathy. "You're not to blame Kiara...It's not your fault."

Kiara turned away from her mother, refusing to make eye contact.

It has been Kiara's second try to give birth, and no success. The pridelanders have been mourning deeply, but Kiara suffered from the biggest heartache. The thought of losing two unborn cubs made her spine chill.

"Kiara..." Nala's voice broke as hot tears rolled down her cheek, "It's going to be okay. I know it seems grim now, but understand this is all part of the-"

"Great circle of life! I know!" Kiara cried in anger as tears foamed in her eyes. "I just wish for one cub, one cub; is that so hard to ask for? Why must I suffer?"

Nala nuzzled her daughter, trying to calm her down, "Kiara. You're not the only lioness who has these problems..."

Kiara exhaled sharply. "I'm tired mother, let me be."

Sighing, Nala stood up. She wished she could offer more comforting wisdom, but for now her mind went blank. Her daughter was in pain, and hasn't eaten all day.

"Eat." She commanded softly, pushing the dead zebra leg to Kiara.

"Fine." She muttered, slowly biting down on the juicy meat.

Finishing her lat bite and eager for a good night sleep, Kiara slowly walked back to Pride Rock, _why must I suffer?_

* * *

><p>Adhra slowed down, her body ache and her head was spinning. <em>Water. I need water<em>. Frantically looking around for any signs of water, she unknowingly stumbled into the Pridelands' watering hole.

A smile spread on her muzzle as she spied the watering hole, _perfect._

Adhra slowly left her hiding spot in the tall grass, making her way to the watering hole.

Afraid somebody might see her, she examined her surroundings, _nothing, so far so good._

The water was refreshing, flowing into her dry throat, she quickly gulped up as much water she could.

Finishing her water break, Adhra stared at the night sky, "better get going now."

"Not without an explanation." A deep voice boomed.

Adhra's heart spotted, she didn't dare turn around. Silently cussing to herself, she turned face to face with a sturdy, golden-brown lion with a bushy red mane.

"Who are you?" Simba asked.

Adhra knew better then to show her fear, she managed to make her voice sound more powerful and calm then she really felt. "I'm Adhra, I mean no harm. I was exhausted from my long journey and needed a drink." She nodded in the direction of the watering hole.

Staring at the lion's deep orange eyes, she felt weak,_ show no fear. Show no fear._

To her surprise, Simba smiled warmly, "I see no threat to my lands, so drink, but then leave."

His voice was calm but Adhra didn't let down her guard, she fell for to many traps in her life already, she muttered a thank you and sprinted away.


	3. Worries

_*Hey Lucy, I remember your name_

_I left a dozen roses on your grave today_

_I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away_

_I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say_

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_

_I'd give up all the world to see_

_That little piece of Heaven looking back at me_

Sunlight spread across the Pridelands, warming Kiara's heart. Feeling renewed, she was ready to face another day. _Why cling to the past when I should look forward to the future?_

She walked to the watering hole to discover Kovu was already there-and not alone. He and Simba sat, staring at the sun rise, talking.

Curious, Kiara hid in the tall grass and listened in,

"-but she seemed to be no threat."

Kovu's eyes lead to Simba's gaze as he replied, "I don't like the idea of a rogue in the Pridelands, did you watch the lioness leave?"

Simba sighed, remembering the lioness' cold stare, "no, all I saw was she sprinted away from me."

Kovu quickly got on all four feet, "then she could still be here. A threat to us!"

"Kovu. Rogue or not, she was just one lioness."

"Either way, if we get ambushed..." Kovu extended his claws and let out a deep growl, "I'll be ready to fight."

Simba beamed, proud of Kovu's loyalty.

Kiara gasped, the thought of a rogue in the Pridelands made her stomach sink. Crouching lower in the grass her ears twitch, straining to hear the conversation more clearly.

"Okay Kovu, I will alert the lionesses, tell them to watch out for the rogue." His gaze fixed on the watering hole, focusing on the water he continued, "but I assure you, everything is fine."

That wasn't enough for Kovu, "I'm going to patrol the Pridelands at night-every night-before I sleep."

An itchy silence flew over the two lions, Kovu's words hung thick in the air. "Just in case." Kovu muttered.

**Author's Note: *The lyrics in the beginning of the chapter are from the song Lucy by Skillet. I own nothing but my characters...Oh and I decided to spice up the mood of my story by posting a couple song lyrics in the beginning of each chapter. Good idea or no? **

**Thanks for reading! Please review! :)**


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